Comments on: Good neighborliness

By: the mad momma

the mad momma — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:01:26 +0000

you know, my kids break the ice because everyone in our building keeps stopping to give them toffees. And the lady on the floor below me who is a teacher, and not internet savvy, comes to me once a trimester to help her write report cards online. the floor below that has a young girl who sells pottery and wants me to help her market it.

i notice they all want something or the other. on the other hand we often receive plates of food from them, we send down cake when we have parties…

its not as though we’re in and out of each other’s homes but i think it takes one side to break the ice… but then delhi is like this so i am not sure abt other places. ppl here are very hospitable and if we walk in to pay the rent cheque the landlord insists on feeding us dinner!

By: Shefaly

Shefaly — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 08:46:25 +0000

Neighbours and social networking? What do you know!

http://brandstrategy.wordpress.com/2008/07/11/neighbours-moves-into-social-networking/

By: Brenda

Brenda — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:18:50 +0000

In the past I never took the time to meet my neighbors other than the first brief introduction and subsequent “Hellos” exchanged in passing. Like you I had a neighbor die and didn’t even know it. My excuse was that I tend to be shy, reserved and a workaholic. Then, my husband and I moved into a neighborhood with a predominantly retirement-age population that believes in being, well, neighborly! I can’t work in the yard without one coming over to chat! On our street there is also a lively, extroverted former school teacher who rallys all the neighbors for several events each year. I have really enjoyed the community, more than I ever expected. And, while I now build friendships online as well, I remind myself how both add a warmth to my life that I never want to take for granted.

By: Srivalli

Srivalli — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 05:45:14 +0000

lekhni ..there is really no need to feel so bad about it…I know it might depress..but when the lady was obviously not interested in reaching out, you can’t really do anything abt it right. In india, as you said, you get to know about most things anyway. So it becomes your duty to go and show some sympathy..but in places like yours, where all you do is greet each other…you can’t expect much!

but you must also know this right, here we can’t just like that greet other ppl!..heheh

By: lekhni

lekhni — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:22:37 +0000

Shefaly: Great op-ed (and doesn’t seem to require a login now). I guess it clearly shows how people don’t even know who their neighbor is these days.

I read a statement from someone the other day that said “a good neighbor is someone who maintains his lawn well”. So that is all a good neighbor is these days – someone who ensures that the market value of your house does not fall because the neighborhood looks unkempt

Pradeep: That is an interesting perspective. I agree with you on some points. I would say that it’s human nature everywhere to be inordinately curious about others’ private lives (look at how we are keen to get every last bit about celebrities). The difference, I would argue, is that people in the US are usually (though not always) too polite to ask probing questions. But I agree there is a cultural aspect – in India, respect for others’ privacy is not something people pay much heed to. It’s socially acceptable for anyone to ask you any question and expect a detailed answer. And then there is the hierarchy of seniority – “I am your uncle/aunt/demand respect because I am older than you and therefore I can ask you whatever I want” attitude.
I am not sure if our curiosity translates into any commitment. We just want to know. That does not mean we will necessarily help anyone The crowd that gathers at accident sites is curious, not committed to helping.

By: Pradeep

Pradeep — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 07:22:52 +0000

This is often spoken of as one essential difference between western culture and eastern. What you say about “the maid media” is fine, but more often than not it goes beyond reasonable extents and very closely resembles the tabloid media. We Indians feel more committed to others (mostly neighbours and many strangers) rather than to oneself and family. Probably it’s a cultural aspect. We feel very upset if we haven’t been informed about something. We almost take it personally, while we ourselves are very discreet about whom to inform what.

By: Shefaly

Shefaly — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:40:14 +0000

Interesting NYT op-ed (needs login and I am not logged in on this machine):

http://www.nytimes.com/glogin?URI=http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/23/opinion/23lovenheim.html

By: lekhni

lekhni — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:28:43 +0000

hawkeye: I wonder too, what she was thinking about us. At any rate, she seems to have concluded that we didn’t know.

La vida Loca: We seem to be alike. I have a very low tolerance to nosiness too. I’d rather not talk to neighbors instead.

By: La vida Loca

La vida Loca — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 05:57:36 +0000

Oh no! TV, books and blogs are good company. NO nosiness allowed. It just that I cannot stand it.