The Imagined Universe

I always read research publications whenever I get a chance. Sometimes, I even understand what they are saying. More often, I come away with the vague idea that the scientists carried out Important Research and something happened to some mice. Or, if you believe Douglas Adams, the mice fooled the scientists into thinking whatever the scientists thought.

I have often wondered why these research articles are not easier to understand. But now I know. You see, it is best that way. Please do not try to understand them. If you did, you would be very confused.�

Look at this article which came out in Science Daily a few years ago. It said that a little stress was actually good for you. Short bouts of stress, the article informed, increase the skin’s ability to fight infections and heal minor wounds. The article said 2 hours of stress in mice increased their immunity levels by 2-4 times.

There is more here. Respected scientists made statements like “The whole idea that testosterone and stress suppress the immune system makes absolutely no sense evolutionarily.”

When I read those articles, I rejoiced. I realized what the people shouting at me every day were really doing. They were making my skin clear and blemish free. I did not need any skin cream, as long as I had bad bosses and rude clients. This was great news. Skin cream, after all, is expensive. Bad bosses are free and plentiful.

All that came to an end today. After deceiving me for more than three years, and possibly after hundreds of thousands of dollars spent�in research, Science Daily finally admitted to me that stressed out skin “loses its antimicrobial defense mechanism“. Stress lowers your immunity. Who would have known?

Now I am confused, and very stressed out.�I have missed out on years of skin cream use.� What have I done?

If you see someone at Costco today buying a few hundred jars of skin cream, it’s not someone�setting up a beauty salon. It’s probably just me.

Tags: research, Science, skin cream